Serenata

I was ten years old, playing Ludo in the garage of my neighbour Silvia’s house with my sister Isabel and our friends. I was resting against a column when the floor and everything else, even the game pieces, started to shake…it was an earthquake! We ran upstairs and outside the house, where Silvia’s dad and her older brother Raul were waiting for us to get out to the street.

Before that night, Raul was around, but invisible. His shyness was so big that it was misinterpreted, for me, as rudeness. But since that evening, we became close friends.

My sister and I ended up going to the same high school as Raul. His shyness wasn’t so big by then and he often offered us a ride to school. We would see each other with groups of friends and we even drove to the auto cinema—with Isabel included, of course! My closest cousins teased me that Raul was in love with me. I denied it.

Once our friend and neighbour celebrated his birthday with a big party. I was dancing and across the room and I saw Raul with a popular girl sitting on his lap, kissing him. Something in my chest hurt so much that I wanted to take my sister and run home.

I don’t know how, but when I was crossing the street, Raul was already there, in front of my house. He took my keys and opened the door for us. I shut the door after saying good night.

I didn’t sleep that night. I was confused.

Was I jealous? No, it couldn’t be.

Yes?

Oh, no! I was in love!

On Sunday I missed mass. “I’m sorry, but I ate something last night in the party that made me sick”. That was my excuse, mass was something you never miss. But I was really sick, not from my stomach but from my heart…something we call in Spanish “mal de amores”.

On Monday, I left for school early, to be sure not to see Raul. I avoided him all day. But at the end of the day, he was there, waiting for me. He drove us home, but nobody said a word.

When we got home, I asked him to talk, in the foyer. I went inside for three lemonades, one for him, one for me, and one for my chaperone. We sat. I asked him, directly, what happened.

“I know I’m nobody to ask you anything, but as your friend I need to know.”

His face couldn’t be more red. I felt sorry for asking. I said, “If you don’t want to talk, I understand. But I don’t think you should go on that way with her.”

It was as if something stung him. He jumped up and said, “Don’t even think that I like her! She was on my lap with no invitation, and I am totally in love with somebody else.”

His eyes and his body language told me everything! What a relief! My heart was still aching but with happiness!

Yes, four years loving me without a word or a sign to me. He and I were in the same way—he because of shyness, I because of blindness.

A few evenings later, my dad came to tell me that somebody was at the front. I ran to the window in my parents’ bedroom, and there was Raul with his friends playing a serenata, not the most beautiful one, but it was so moving! Finally, he came out of his comfort zone. It was so exciting, and romantic.

My dad told me to go downstairs and thank them. My dad politely told the guys to go home because it was very late, but he invited Raul to visit “us” the next day.

Two years later, we married and we had two sons. In 1996, we moved to Canada, where Raul was born, but that is another story.

June 24^th marked three years since my Raul passed away. We were married for 46 years.