Finding the Form with Candice May
I started writing this story a few years ago, immediately after I’d heard of a psychological term called ‘the dead mother complex.’ I was absolutely enthralled by this concept and knew I had to find a way to write about it.
In psychology, a ‘dead mother complex’ describes an emotionally unavailable or absent mother, which is what I thought my story would explore, but it wound up going in a different direction once I started writing; in my story the children’s mother is actually physically dead, but they try to keep her alive, in a way, through their relentless storytelling.
The first draft of this story was twice as long and included two alternating timelines: the sisters in childhood, and also their lives when they are in their twenties. In that version, Casey is pregnant and trying to reconcile becoming a mother amidst Elizabeth’s feelings of betrayal. Because they’d grown up without a mother, they’d made a vow at some point never to become mothers themselves. I recall the ending was pretty out there, as well, with one of the sisters jumping out of an airplane during a crash— with a parachute that wouldn’t open. And there was much more about their lives as adults. But ultimately, I cut all of that after receiving some feedback from a wise reader (thank you, Erika!) and kept the story focused on the sisters in childhood.
In terms of genre, I have always loved the short story form. I enjoy literature that is on the shorter side: songs, flash fiction, prose poetry, and stories. So this piece was always destined to be a short story, and I have explored the topic of estranged families, abandonment, and absent or neglectful parents in some of my other work. I am often inspired by psychological concepts in general, and non-fictional aspects of my own life in particular, but I will probably always lean towards exploring these things via fiction. Like the sisters in this story, I enjoy following the ‘rambling path’ of my imagination, which I believe can lead to — or at least point to — an experience of psychological truth.
Candice May is a writer from British Columbia. Her work has appeared in Ploughshares, PRISM International, The Masters Review, SmokeLong Quarterly, and elsewhere. She is a graduate of the Book Project at Lighthouse Writers Workshop (2021-2023) and is completing her debut collection of short stories.